Before I Lived

Before I lived, I had this dream that I was going to be born in January, 1995 in Carolina, Puerto Rico.  I was going to be born in the UPR Hospital aka the “matadero” which is a Spanish word for slaughterhouse.  I remember that dream like if it was yesterday.  Thinking of it now, it is like having a dejavu of my present life.  I have these pictures in my mind which I can easily describe for you and that I am going to do it so you can get to know more about my past.

As you already know, before I was born, I had a life.  These memories are like a mirror of my actual life. Another of those dreams showed me that I was going to have a successful in life, goals in which I am still working to achieve them, but because I already lived it, I know I already achieved them.   For example I dreamed that in my childhood I was going to be a mature kid.  The reason that I considered myself a mature was because I was surrounded by adults my whole life.  This dream showed me how I was going to achieve getting accepted in the University of Puerto Rico, Río Piedras. 

They called me José A. Rohena Calzada.  Why José? Because my grandfather’s father name was José and my dad was also named José.  This dream showed me how I was going to pass through hard times to become a better person.  How I had to grow from separated parents.  How I had to dwell, when they fixed their relationship problems, losing my father from cancer and then 3 months later my grandfather.  My grandfather was the man who taught me values with his example, he was the man who raised me.  My father, I got to know him well when he came back to restore the time he wasn’t with me, I was 15 years old.  What I learned from him what his positive attitudes even in the worst times.  Those two men are extremely important in my life because they both showed me how to love and how to care about others.

This dream showed me how I had the courage to continue fighting for my goals, not only for me, but for them, especially for my mom because I am the only man left in her life. This had a meaning for me which the dream never explained to me and which I am now discovering.  That is, mutually, my mother and I be there for each other no matter what for ever and ever.